The Range of Light
by mentalsunflower
Summary: Yuna's thoughts on how she hates-yet loves Tidus, even if he is gone...just a one-shot!


A/N: A short one-shot on Yuna's thoughts of Tidus.  
**Disclaimer**: The characters, place, and plot line of the original game don't belong to me.

How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me, cared for me, wanted to be with me forever...because that's how I felt about you.

_But was it all a lie? Did you KNOW you were going to fade? DID YOU? I can't take it anymore...all these questions that are unanswered. Each day I live is just another day of torture..._

_This fake happiness of mine can only go so far, you know...I hope you're feeling the pain I feel every minute I live, knowing now that, you're never going to come back...because you were never really here, were you? You were more like an illusion...a dream of mine I invented? I don't know...I don't think I want to know._

_But one thing I DO know for certain, is...you left me. You knew were going to leave me, and you acted like nothing was wrong. That's what stung, and will forever. Did that mean you didn't actually care for me?_

_SEE what I go through each and every day, every hour, minute, second of my life? I'm always wondering...asking the questions over and over in my mind on why you left me._

_And the only answer I can come up with..._

_Is none._

"Yunie? Get up! Time to go to Luca!" Yuna moaned as she rolled over in bed. The quiet hum of the engine below her made Yuna pull the quilts higher around her.

"Go away." She mumbled. Why did people always have to bother her while she was deep in thought?

_If you were here I wouldn't have to go through this..._

Unwillingly the 19-year-old arose from her bed, her brown hair ruffled and knotted. She groaned.

"Why Luca?" She managed as she grabbed a brush from the bedside table.

"I dunno...the Aurochs want us there for blitzball or something."

Yuna froze. Blitzball?

"Uh—I can't." She said, blushing furiously as she ripped at her hair with the brush.

"What? Aww! Why not, Yunie?"

"Because...it reminds me too much of...him."

_I couldn't bring myself to say your name. I probably never will. If I did I would probably end up bursting into tears and becoming dehydrated by loss of water._

Rikku sighed. "Oh, come _on_ Yunie! It's not that big of a deal!"

"It IS!" Yuna cried, standing up abruptly. "Rikku, you wouldn't get it, okay? All his _lies_ and betrayal, and the loss of him, and—"Yuna stopped talking, her arms falling to her sides. "Rikku-I'm sorry. I don't usually burst out like this...but it's been so long, and I don't even know all the answers..."

Rikku frowned slightly and motioned for Yuna to sit back down. "It's okay, Yunie...you can tell me what's wrong."

_And so I did. I don't usually share such intimate thoughts with anyone but you...but you're not here, you know? So I had to tell Rikku. Amazingly, she accepted that I can't put on that charade forever. I can't always pretend to be a happy person, when deep down I feel like I might split open._

"Yuna-I'll cancel the trip to Luca, okay? You get some rest." Rikku gave her cousin a small hug.

"Thanks for understanding, Rikku. I thought no one would..."

"Don't worry." Rikku said, smiling. "I've had my fair share of fake happiness." With that she bounced down the stairs, yelling at Brother in Al Bhed to stop the ship.

She grinned. For once...she wasn't crying down inside.

_Just to let you know, I haven't forgotten you-I never will. But it's annoying when everyone thinks of me as the only person in the world who shouldn't have any problems-who should be nice and happy and grateful to everyone and everything. You were the only person that understood-I'm only human as well. You can't expect me to be perfect._

_But even though I've spilled how I feel...I'm still empty without you-I probably always will be. I can't stay angry with you for long...who could?_

_If you're listening, I just want to let you know..._

_I love you—Tidus. And I hope you understand that I can't act like nothing's wrong-or else I would be doing what you put me through years ago._

_This fake happiness of mine can only go so far, you know..._

A/N: Yes, yes, I know the last sentence was also near the top-that was the point. Just short-pointless.

R&R, please!


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